Russia's Secret
by steampunk-crow
Summary: Russia's has a secret that everyone finds out. Fem!RussiaxChina Past Possible Fem!RussiaxPrussia. I don't own Hetalia or the characters just the idea for the story!
1. Chapter 1

Russia's Secret

The nations think they know who everyone is and was, but there is one country who's past is a lie. They are Russia. To everyone Russia is a strong silent man with purple eyes and silver blonde hair, and even though he is not as tall as many of the others he is still very strong. They all think that while many of them were parading around as pirates he kept to himself in his cold, snowy home. They do not however know the truth about Russia, for Russia is not a man but a woman who is forced to hide her gender by her boss, General Winter. She was also one of the most famous female pirates ever, Scarlet Crow. She was called this because of the mask she wore to hide her identity, it was bright scarlet with black feathers at the sides. She spent most of her years of piracy in Asia, helping China, the eldest of the countries, to raise the other Asian countries like Japan, Taiwan, Vietnam and the Korean brothers. When she was not there she was sailing all over the world collecting treasures. Never once did she take off her mask, not even for China, her lover.

Present Day…

"Ugh not another meeting. Everyday it's getting hotter and hotter and I have to resist taking off my scarf and coat." She muttered under her breath as she walked down the hall to the meeting room. "Your late." The words rang through the silent room, everyone had turned to watch her take her seat. She sat down in the only available seat which just so happened to be between France and America. "Well now that everyone's here we can begin." Germany said as he rearranged his notes.

The meeting went on as normal, going over the notes and resolving any issues from the last meeting, then presenting any new issues that anyone had. About half way through she couldn't take the heat any more and started to take off her gloves and placed them neatly on the table. She then started to unwind her scarf from around her neck revealing the top of a plait. "Hey guys look old chilly bones over here finally got too hot for his stuffy winter wear!" exclaimed France. Everyone started to laugh but she ignored them and started to unbutton her coat making sure it didn't fall open until all the buttons were undone. Then she stood up and tucked her gloves into one of the pockets while she walked over to the coat stand. She then hung her scarf and coat. She turned around to see them all staring at her.

"What? What have I done now?" She asked as she went to sit down she put her plait over one shoulder and pulled out the ribbon that tied it. She then sat running her fingers through her hair. "Russia is it just me or do you have boobs?" Asked America while he stared at her chest. "Yeah I for once agree with America. You do have breasts and very long hair." Said England nervously. She just smiled sweetly and nodded, "I do and yes before you ask I am a woman and well I think we've been through everything today. Don't you gentlemen?" As she stood up the sleeve on her left arm shortened revealing a tattoo, half of a skull and cross bones in a heart. "Wait a minute, let me see that tattoo." Japan said as he walked quickly around the table. " I recognise that. China come here a moment." as soon as China got around the table Japan grabbed his right wrist and pulled up the sleeve revealing the other half of the tattoo. "Your Scarlet Crow, Mother of me and my siblings, lover of China!" The whole room sucked in a breath. "No, I was, I am not that any longer, and I never was your mother unless you are talking about Hong Kong. And as for China's lover how could I be that again when all I feel towards him is friendship. All feelings of love disappeared with that life." She looked into Japan's hurt eyes and then in to China's there she even saw tears. "Life is a cruel and harsh thing where I come from and so is love. I'm sorry." With that she left the meeting hall not even stopping to pick up her coat.

She walked around until she was lost it was a large place Germany's house with many corridors and halls. She couldn't remember when the tears had started falling but she suddenly sank to the floor under the weight if them. Only then did she realise what she had been saying to herself, "I don't love him anymore but why did I tell him in such a cruel way? How can I love him when I'm in love with another man? How can he still love me after all these years?" She didn't know what the time was, or for how long it had been dark outside, but she was so tired that she just collapsed on her side. Sprawling herself across the floor.

Prussia had decided to go for a walk because he hadn't been able to sleep not after what had happened at the meeting, he was still worried about Russia because no one had seen her since she left the meeting hall. She wasn't even in her room. He turned a corner two corridors away from his room on his way to the garden when he stumbled across the sleeping form of a woman. It was Russia, her faced was stained with dry tears. And she kept mumbling things like, "I don't love him anymore but why did I tell him in such a cruel way? How can I love him when I'm in love with another man?"

He picked her up and realised that he would not be able to find her room in the dark even though he knew his brothers house well. He decided that h would take her back to his room and he would sleep on the sofa.

When he got her back to his room she woke up, he said to her "Go back to sleep. Your okay just a bit tired." She curled up under the duvet and fell asleep again. He grabbed a pillow and a blanket from the cupboard and lay down on the sofa. Just as he was falling asleep he heard her mumbling, "I don't love him. I love another.

I don't love China, I think I love Prussia." That was the last thing he heard before going to sleep.

She awoke to a pair of ruby eyes looking down at her and her years of training came into mind and she flipped the red eyed man on to the floor. "Ugh that was totally un-awesome!" Ugh it was Prussia.

Wait, "Where am I?" She stood up and pulled him with her. "I found you asleep in a corridor not far from my room and I didn't know the way to yours so I took you back to mine. You've been sleeping for fifteen hours. I was making sure you were okay, you kept mumbling."

She was dumb struck, he had done all that for her and not tried anything. "Who are you and what have you done with Prussia?" She watched his reaction to her question. It was quite funny, "What do you mean who am I? I am the awesome Prussia!" Not that again. "Okay okay can you show me the way back to the meeting room? Oh and can you make sure that no one sees me please." He started towards the door.

"Of course but I don't know why anyone would notice you when I'm around! I'm the awesome Prussia!"

"Okay fine just get going!" He lead the way down a few corridors then they were back at the meeting hall. "Thank you, you can go back to your room now." He just smiled at her. "Get going Prussia. I don't want you to get into trouble from anyone." She left him standing there looking confused and continued on to her room.

She washed and got dressed in the first things she pulled out her wardrobe. She dragged her suitcase out from under her bed and started packing when someone knocked on her door. "Who is it and what do you want?" she heard the door open and she pulled a dagger out of her bag. "I said who are you and what do you want?" She spun round and brought her dagger up to Japan's throat. She lowered the dagger and decided to sheath it in her boot. "China whishes to see you before you leave." His voice was emotionless but she knew how to read his eyes, they were full of pain and anger. "Well I don't wish to speak to him." She went back to her packing. "You must, he tried to find you last night but no one could." She decided that she might as well but she was leaving as soon as they finished speaking. "Fine I will speak with, him but only for a short time. Then I must leave to save him and my self further embarrassment." He nodded and started out of the room she followed him. He lead her to a secluded part of the garden. China was sitting looking at the flowers. Japan nodded to her and left. "So you did come. I thought you might not, you seemed upset last night. You used to be so happy when you were younger." His faced showed that he was lost in thought. "I was happy till you told me to leave when you found out I was with child! You wouldn't believe that it was yours! And yet you raised him with no hesitation once you saw England with him! I was Sixteen Yao! Sixteen! Not even an adult and yet you cast me out!" The tears flowed from her eyes. China tried to hug her but she pushed him away. "I'm sorry. I thought that it was the child of that perv France or maybe England. You told me after coming back from a voyage to Europe." She looked up to see regret in his eyes she also noticed that they'd gotten an audience. "Look Yao, I was young then. I was looking for approval from someone. You gave me that approval and, yes I thought I loved you for a time, but when you dismissed me so easily…" She choked on the next few words, "I-I was h-heart b-b-broken." The older nation bent down to comfort her where she had sunk to the floor, she just pushed him away. He spoke in his native tongue, " Bùyào kū, xiǎo jiāhuo. Wǒ cóng wèi xiǎngguò yào shānghài nǐ. Wǒ hěn bàoqiàn." (Do not cry little one. I never meant to hurt you. I am so sorry.) She understood what he'd said and replied in her native tongue, "Bolʹ, kotoruyu ty zastavil menya ne mozhet bytʹ ispravleno s pomoshchʹyu slov ili vami. ibo YA ne lyublyu tebya bolʹshe Yao." (the pain you caused me cannot be fixed by words or by you. For I do not love you anymore Yao.) He stepped back at these words. She said going back to English, "You broke me Yao. I was a wreck after what you did, other wise I would've come back to you with Hong Kong myself. Only I didn't think I could face you not when the scars had only just healed." She unconsciously rubbed her stomach. "What scars? Which ones?" China asked puzzled. She lifted her shirt revealing three long scars. "These ones, the ones you gave me when you were so enraged at what you thought I'd done. That was the one time you caused me harm, unless it was for pleasure. But it was the mental scars that took the longest to heal, your words still ring through my head at times. Just as hurtful, just as harsh as they were when they left your lips." The last she whispered. She stood up. "Are you happy now? You made me spill my guts to you in front of everyone. Showing them what a stupid little girl I am! And maybe this is why women are never allowed in the meetings? Because we get too freaking emotional." With that she ran. She pushed past all the nations that had gathered to watch them. She heard people call out her name but she ignored them.

She didn't leave in the end, she just spent the next week in bed crying and not letting anyone in. By the end of the week Germany had managed to find the spare key for her room. She heard her door open then close again and she heard someone cross the floor. "You really should get out of bed and eat something. And maybe shower too." Said a soft voice beside her. Someone sat down on her bed, she turned over to see Ukraine smiling down at her. "What are you doing her sister?" I came as soon as I heard what happened. Oh Iva, what kind of mess have you gotten yourself into this time." Russia missed her older sisters pet name for her. "Now how about you go and have a shower, I brought some clothes for you and while you do that I'll go get you some food." She noticed the five or so empty vodka bottles lying on the floor. "And no more vodka even you can't handle a whole week of being drunk." She laughed and hurried out the room locking the door behind her. Russia decided to follow her sisters advice, she grabbed a towel from the cupboard then she noticed what her sister had brought for her to wear, a dress very like the one Hungary wears only it was a deep scarlet not green. Russia smiled she could get used to wearing things like that. She had her shower and was just about to start dressing when someone knocked on the door, "Come in!" She called assuming it was Ukraine.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you while you were dressing." It wasn't her sister but a man with a heavy German accent. She turned round to find ruby eyes staring at her. "What do you want Prussia?" She asked sounding very exasperated.

"I came because I have a reply to what you were muttering in your sleep when I found you. I wrote down what you said then I thought long and hard about what to say… and well here it is." He handed her a piece of paper then left the room quickly closing the door behind him. Russia finished putting on the dress the opened the note. This is what it said:

You kept saying "I don't love him. I love another.

I don't love China, I think I love Prussia."

Well Russia I think I love you too, but I'm not sure yet. I'm confused about what I feel for you, and I don't know if you were just saying that because you had just woken up and seen me or if it is the truth.

Yours Very Very Sincerely

The Awesome Prussia.

Russia smiled as she read it she didn't even realise when Ukraine came back until she tapped Russia on the shoulder. "Oh sorry I didn't hear you come in. shall we eat then" Her sister had brought her all sorts of breakfast meats and bread and fruit. She ate until she was full. "Sister you wouldn't happen to have a pen on you would you?"

"Yes Iva but what do you need it for?" Ukraine handed her younger sister a pen from her trouser pocket. "I need it to reply to a letter I got from someone." Russia started to write her reply:

Dear Prussia,

What I said that night must have been the truth because I never lie in my sleep, but I don't know if I can manage being in love again until you decide what you feel.

Yours Russia.

"Sister would you be willing to take this letter to Prussia for me? As I don't think that I am ready to leave my room yet."

"Of course but why is it so urgent?" Russia thought for a moment, "It concerns matters of the heart." She said with a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: sorry about the length of time between chapters, I just can't think of what to write and I'm also working on other fan fictions, any way, here's the next chapter. I'm thinking of adding more RussiaxPrussia this chapter and maybe Hong Kong, guess who's kid he is… no points for anyone who gets it though.**

Russia had returned home after another two days staying at Germany's house. The whole time her and Prussia had exchanged letters the whole time, while Japan had been giving her evil looks every time he saw her. She didn't care about the evil looks though, she'd had enough of them during the Cold War. She'd gotten used to wearing dresses and skirts now and enjoyed the freedom of them.

A few days after she had returned home someone knocked at her door, she opened it to find a young Asian boy. "Um hello are you Ivana?" He asked her when he looked up from the frozen ground. "Yes I am. Hello, malyutka* How are you." (*Little one) She asked gesturing for him to come in. "I-I'm fine." He stuttered out. Then he hugged her suddenly. She quickly got over her shock and hugged him back, "What are you doing here malyutka?" She asked him letting go. "I wanted to meet my mama, papa said that I wasn't allowed to come and see you. But I never met you, all I'd heard were the stories that big brother England told me. Papa misses you a lot, please come and see him, Mei and Kim wants to see you as well oh and so does Yong Soo!" Russia looked down at the boy, he had brown eyes with a hint of purple and his hair was slightly lighter than China's but not much, he really didn't look like her. "Malyutka, I can't come and see him because, well because of things he did a long time ago. And you should go if he told you not to come and see me then you should go back. Wait before you go I have something for you." She went up stairs and got out a locket, it had a picture of a picture, the picture was of her holding Hong Kong, for the first time it had her with out her mask on. She went back down stairs and put it around Hong Kong's neck, he opened it and looked at the picture, "Is that me? And why do you look so young?" He was pointing to the child in her arms. "Yes that's you and I was only sixteen when I had you. But please do not let your father see this locket." He nodded and turned to leave, then she changed her mind about going to see China, "Malyutka will you tell your papa that I will come and see him in a week. There are things that I have to discuss with him" Hong Kong hugged her again, "I will tell him mama, can I tell the others? They want to see you as well." Russia nodded and hugged him back. "Now you'd better get going, before you get in too much trouble." Hong Kong ran back up the path and disappeared round the corner. Russia closed the door and made the arrangements to visit China in a week. Then she wrote another letter to Prussia it said:

Dear Prussia,

I know we haven't spoken about how we feel since our first letters but I am going to see China in a week and I would like to know how you feel before then. Just so that I know where I stand with someone.

I met Hong Kong to day as well, he is nice, any way how are you and please respond before I leave to see China.

Love, Ivana.

She walked to the post office and mailed the letter, she decided to go to the near by bar and ordered a shot of vodka. She was about to order another one when someone sat beside her. "Sister why are you drinking?" It was Belarus, Russia turned to her younger sister and smiled, "I met my malyutka today, he looks like his father not like me, well apart from his eyebrows but that's Arthur's doing. I also decided to go and see Yao next week, and I sent a letter to Gilbert. Why do you think I'm drinking?" Belarus thought about what her sister had said, "I guess that's a good reason, how about I join you, but only for another two rounds then we had better leave." Russia nodded they were good and stuck to their word only having another two shots each. They said good bye to each other and went their separate ways. When Russia got home she took a bottle of vodka out her cupboard and drank until she passed out.

1 week later…

Russia had arrived at China's house, she knocked on the door China answered, "Oh good you're here come in. come through to the lounge, everyone is here to see you." He lead her through to a luxurious lounge where she saw most of the countries she'd helped to raise gathered. Taiwan was there, so was Vietnam and South Korea and Japan was there, suddenly she was hugged from behind, "Mama, you came!" She turned round to see Hong Kong hugging her and China wearing and odd look it was somewhere between sadness and anger. "Hello malyutka. How have you all been?" She said turning back to the others, suddenly she was surrounded by them and she was being hugged, "We missed you, we all did, even Japan even though he won't admit it after the whole thing that happened at the world meeting, he told us what you said." Taiwan said from her left. "Mm yeah, we missed you, we had to tell Hong all the stories about you, we even tried to dress like you for a bit, but it didn't work because we couldn't find a mask like yours." Vietnam said from her right. "Da-ze! I claim your breasts!" Korea said groping her. "Im Yong Soo remove your hands at once I thought I got you to stop that terrible habit!" Russia exclaimed pushing him off her. Suddenly two more people joined the hug, China and Japan. "I'm sorry I treated you so badly. I was scared and I thought that you had done something horrible but when I saw the little boy in England's arm I saw you, his eyes were an amazing mix of brown and purple, but the purple faded with you." Russia broke out of the hug to go to China she hugged him, "I'm sorry, I never meant to say what I said in such a cruel way, but you know that I consider you my best friend, I told you every thing, both as Scarlet and as Russia, the only thing I never told you was that they were, are the same person." He understood exactly how she felt, she was his best friend no more no less. "I know you are my best friend too Scarlet. I'm sorry I over reacted. Can you forgive me?" He pulled out of the hug and placed his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him and smiled, "I forgave you when I looked down at the child in my arms all those years ago, I wanted to go back to you and raise him with you but my boss wouldn't let me, he said that I'd had my fun and that's when I was forced to become Ivan instead of Ivana." Then she turned to Japan, "Can you forgive me for the way I acted?" She saw an unknown emotion flash across his eyes, "Hai, I forgive you." She Pulled him into a hug not caring about his whole personal space thing, he stood awkwardly for a bit then hugged her back. "Yay! Everybody's friends again! Da-ze!" Korea yelled and everybody hugged again, then they had some tea and Russia was forced to act out one of her fights with England, it was the only one that China had witnessed so he had to be England, they used ladles for swords and Russia had a wooden spoon hidden in her boot which was meant to be the dagger that she'd used to win the fight. They cheered when she pinned China down with the wooden spoon at his throat. He even tried to mimic England's accent, which just got the lot of them into hysterics. Then suddenly China asked, "You said that you love someone else who is it?"

**Dum Dum Dum… what's going to happen will Russia tell China or will she make up an excuse. I will try to update as soon as possible, sorry that this chapter is shorter than the first one but I wanted to update as soon as possible, if you have any thing that you want to happen then leave me a message and I will try to work it in.**

**Adios mi amigos, Steam punk-Crow. **


End file.
